Weekend Worry- Small Wins

Saturday has been a tough, but important self discovery day. Today an old friend came to town and wanted to get lunch with me and his girlfriend... at a Bar. This would be the first time I have ever been in a bar with other people drinking, but not I.

Luckily they were there first and ordered their drinks before. The waitress came over and asked what I wanted. I ordered a Diet Coke. The time went on and the bar started to become more and more crowded. More and more people were coming into the bar, and the drinks were flowing. I could feel myself start to worry. But I stayed strong. All in all we had a great time. It was so nice to catch up with old friends.

Once my friends left I walked home. I was home alone. The sweating began. That internal desire to just go buy a bottle and tilt my head back was strong. Then, a break through. It started to snow outside as NYC was forecasted for 4-7 inches. I went back to something(someone) I was before a started drinking. I was a good person who was charitable and found joy in helping others. That went away and was replaced by a fifth.

I went over to the local Duane Reede. I bought about $50 worth of gloves, hats, and hand warmers. The snow started to come down very hard. I went over to the park in Manhattan and proceeded to hand out these gloves and hand warmers to the homeless spending the night in the park. It felt amazing to finally not be such a piece of shit, drinking passed out forgetting. I was actually doing some good.

This feeling, was so much better then waking up with regret. I was lucky enough to have a strong system of support. Others are not. The homeless in NYC are not all drug addicts. Many of them have mental illnesses and don't have a system of support like I did. Can't even explain how amazing this felt to do some good. I highly recommend this, volunteering and helping those who don't have anyone looking out for them. A small gesture can go a long way.

I plan on volunteering much much more. I've wasted the past two years of my life with a bottle. Lost so much time, did nothing positive for my community. Until today. Today was a small win, which I will use to do even more good for others.

-It's No Longer Miller Time

Jordan Miller

Comments

  1. You’re amazing- keep going! Stumbled across your blog while searching online to find help for a friend who’s got alcohol problems and I’m totally inspired by what you’re doing. Take it easy and all the very best to you.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi Cathy,

    I really really appreciate your reaching out. Thank you for your kind words. It took me a while to come to this point, lot of hardship. I hope your friend can be strong and overcome her alcohol problem.

    All the best.

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