Best/Worst Intentions
Tonight was quite an interesting night/day. Rainy weekend in NYC meant that there really wasn't much to do in the city. That also means, my friends had one thing on their mind. Booze. Everyone in my circle of friends knows I am "giving booze up for lent." They don't know that this is going to, well attempting, be the end of my relationship with alcohol forever.
As I have come to terms with this, I am realizing not all of my friends have come to terms with me not drinking. All of us work quite high stress jobs, most of them are lawyers or in finance & I sales. Drinking has always been a way to, decompress, relax, and unwind on the weekend. My friends are basically split into two groups. One group accepts and doesn't bug me about drinking. The other one counts down the seconds till I can drink with them again. The pull from each side has become difficult.
Having my friends on me really does wake up the craving to drink. I have been really struggling with this. My mind is telling me to drink and I will feel better. This has been keeping me up at night, and giving me quite a bit of anxiety. I do hope this subsides soon.
Today, I ended up once again with the group that doesn't pressure me to drink. All day I was with them, we went to two bars, and ended up doing a late dinner with some of their girlfriends. All in total, we were out for about 7 hours at bars. Not one person bothered me. I drank water the entire time.
The one thing that is starting to become clear, unfortunately my friends, some of them I am coming to terms with really only want me to drink to make themselves not feel so bad since I used to drink so much.
O well, time will tell.
Will provide more detail about some of my past experiences with that one group of friend.
It's no longer miller time.
-Jordan Miller
As I have come to terms with this, I am realizing not all of my friends have come to terms with me not drinking. All of us work quite high stress jobs, most of them are lawyers or in finance & I sales. Drinking has always been a way to, decompress, relax, and unwind on the weekend. My friends are basically split into two groups. One group accepts and doesn't bug me about drinking. The other one counts down the seconds till I can drink with them again. The pull from each side has become difficult.
Having my friends on me really does wake up the craving to drink. I have been really struggling with this. My mind is telling me to drink and I will feel better. This has been keeping me up at night, and giving me quite a bit of anxiety. I do hope this subsides soon.
Today, I ended up once again with the group that doesn't pressure me to drink. All day I was with them, we went to two bars, and ended up doing a late dinner with some of their girlfriends. All in total, we were out for about 7 hours at bars. Not one person bothered me. I drank water the entire time.
The one thing that is starting to become clear, unfortunately my friends, some of them I am coming to terms with really only want me to drink to make themselves not feel so bad since I used to drink so much.
O well, time will tell.
Will provide more detail about some of my past experiences with that one group of friend.
It's no longer miller time.
-Jordan Miller
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