The Last Bruise
The last visible physical injury I have from drinking is almost gone. The once deep purple bruise on my inner right thigh is now almost faded. As I sit here and look at this, I feel a sense of disappointment, but promise.
Disappointment in the fact that I let life consume me so much that I felt the need to drink away my pain. Disappointment that I finished almost 3 bottles in a night and fell walking up my stairs and got a bruise this bad in the first place. Disappointment in the fact that I opened up to my parents and had to admit I had a problem. Disappointment of all the friends, and girlfriends that I tricked into thinking I was fine when the later was the case. Disappointment in my actions the past two years.
Disappointment
Funny thing about disappointment, progress and promise can stem from it. Progress.
Progress that I haven't touched alcohol in two weeks. Progress that my relationship with my family is becoming stronger. Progress in my relationship with friends alcohol had me brush to the wayside. Progress, in the fact that there hasn't been regret from an action in the past two weeks.
There is a sense of pride in myself that I had forgotten about. Once again my brain is staring to work at full force, the clouded judgement is replaced by calculated risk. For the first time in almost two+ years, I am proud of myself. This may seem as not that much to many, but for me two weeks, 2 full weekends without drinking- That is something I can not remember the last time this happened.
The road to recovery, full recovery isn't even close. But just as this bruise will fade away and never come back, I hope I can put the past in my rear view mirror and continue to recover, and become a better person.
It's No Longer Miller Time.
-Jordan Miller
Disappointment in the fact that I let life consume me so much that I felt the need to drink away my pain. Disappointment that I finished almost 3 bottles in a night and fell walking up my stairs and got a bruise this bad in the first place. Disappointment in the fact that I opened up to my parents and had to admit I had a problem. Disappointment of all the friends, and girlfriends that I tricked into thinking I was fine when the later was the case. Disappointment in my actions the past two years.
Disappointment
Funny thing about disappointment, progress and promise can stem from it. Progress.
Progress that I haven't touched alcohol in two weeks. Progress that my relationship with my family is becoming stronger. Progress in my relationship with friends alcohol had me brush to the wayside. Progress, in the fact that there hasn't been regret from an action in the past two weeks.
There is a sense of pride in myself that I had forgotten about. Once again my brain is staring to work at full force, the clouded judgement is replaced by calculated risk. For the first time in almost two+ years, I am proud of myself. This may seem as not that much to many, but for me two weeks, 2 full weekends without drinking- That is something I can not remember the last time this happened.
The road to recovery, full recovery isn't even close. But just as this bruise will fade away and never come back, I hope I can put the past in my rear view mirror and continue to recover, and become a better person.
It's No Longer Miller Time.
-Jordan Miller
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